The Bubble :

Barsha remembers when it first started. It really began the day before. She can still hear the test paper’s pages ruffling. Her mother was grabbing her hand like a vine holds its trellis. Her mother said, “Please calm down. Don’t be like him.” This dragged Barsha to reality. She kissed her mother on her moist cheek, saying, “I am okay. Are you hurt? Has he done this before?” “No,” she said. He, of course is, Barsha’s father Animesh. Even though the vein on her forehead feels like it’s bursting out in pain, she got up. Started changing the bedsheet, mmph! It reeks of dog shit.

It was a calm summer night. Her mother sat on the floor, brushing Alice’s unkempt fur. Jimmy was in a deep slumber under her study table. And she, after a tiring day, sat on her bed, finally, to complete her homework. Oh, what will she do? She feels like a virus facing Phagocytic leukocytes (her syllabus). “Babai, let them in; otherwise, they won’t sleep”, her mother said. “Yes, so that they can come and cause a huge ruckus?” Actually, the other ten dogs are locked outside her room. Her mother’s phone rang, it was Animesh. She couldn’t reach her phone, so Barsha picked it up. “ Ey, stop whatever you are doing, come out and clean the hall.”

“I just mopped it. I have done it twice since I came home from school. Will you please clean it once? Maa asked me to solve papers.”

No reply, the line was instantly disconnected. In hindsight, she thought she should have felt the calm before the storm.

The door flung open, and Animesh rushed in, standing directly in front of her. He stood in front of her with a poop scooper in hand,” I asked you to clean it, didn’t I?”

“Her exam is almost here. You are also at home. Why don’t you do it for once? “Maa intervened. She was standing now.

“You keep your mouth shut! I wasn’t talking to you. What do you do? other than sitting on your bum? Move aside!” he pushed aside, and she twisted her hand at the table’s corner and crouched down in pain. Before Barsha could act, he scooped the dog shit onto her bed. Some of it was smeared on her book. Barsha felt as if her ears were burning. She jumped down and pushed him.

“Ey! what do you think you’re doing? Get out! Right now!”

“Girl, I will tear your tongue out. Who do you think you are talking to? You….”

Barsha pushed him out of the room and locked the door. Outside, he continued rambling and kicking it.

It took a little time to wrap her head around the situation, cause anger was burning her veins, hot tears were rolling down her cheeks. Then she remembered, Maa, she was sprawled on the floor, confused about the abruptness of the situation, and she was weeping. Barsha sat down by her quietly. Maa mumbled, “How did he become like this? I don’t understand this man anymore. This is not the man I fell in love with.”

Barsha attempted to console her, saying, “People change, you know?”

“I don’t know what to know and what not.”

“I am sorry. I got so angry, Maa.” Looking at the book, she lamented, “It is gone, I guess. There isn’t a way to clean it. I had to lay my hands on him. I can’t take it anymore. He doesn’t do anything, and yet he flies off the handle at small mistakes. It’s you who is the head of this family, and see how he treats you…”

“He is really a good person. He has never laid hands on me.”

“Yeah, before today. I can’t believe you’re still supporting him.”

“It could be worse, Babai. It is okay. Change the sheet, let me wash it. And get rid of the book.”

The next day, at school, she was sitting quietly, looking at her empty lunchbox. Suneha came and sat beside her. “Forgot your lunch again? Here, have some from mine. What’s wrong?”

Suneha is the only friend she has in school, so obviously, Barsha shares it all with her.

“I… I don’t know how to…I hit Baba yesterday…”

“You what?”

“I di….” Before she could finish, she felt something stir beneath her feet. At first, a soft tremor, then a subtle swelling, a pale shimmer spread out in a thin circle.

“What’s happening? Can you see it? What ….?” She shouted at Suneha.

“What is what? What are you talking about? What can I see?”

But by then, it had begun to rise in a delicate arc. The surface was translucent. Barsha watched it all as the world outside blurred into soft shapes and muted colours. She realised that a luminous bubble held her at the center. Suneha is a blurry shape now, making gestures.

What was this? Why was she suffocating? Was she dying? She felt like a fish in a palm full of water. Her heartbeat grew louder as each breath felt heavier than the last. The colours collapsed into shadow. The world melted into black and hollow silence.

Later, Barsha was told that she had fainted during the conversation with Suneha and was sent home immediately. That was the first day. Since then, whenever she tried to share anything with anyone, the bubble appeared. Why did it happen? She is uncertain, but she guesses that the incident with Baba has pushed her towards cocooning herself in the bubble. At first, it was suffocating. Then the air within felt different, lighter and suspended. She has discovered that no one else can see it. She hasn’t talked about this to anyone. Imagine someone saying that they grow and get trapped inside a bubble whenever they try to get rid of the burden of their thoughts. Oh, the laughter, and then the “Have you blown a fuse?” look in their eyes.

“What do you want to talk about, Barsha? Take your time, you can be free here, “said her psychiatrist, looking at her with a smile.

“Yeah, I am sorry… I was just a little lost,” she said, staring at her fingers. This day wouldn’t have come if not for Suneha. She told her, half-teasing and half-worried, “If you can’t share with us, at least go to a shrink, who won’t faint hearing your drama. Vodka will not do you any good. So here she is, sitting in front of Dr Ambarish stirring her thoughts. “You know I always felt that sharing hurts too much. Loving people and allowing them to see your vulnerability costs too much. How can you figure out the right person who will understand you?”

A pregnant pause. No, no tremors, no growing translucent layer anywhere in sight. Why? It all started to make sense to her. The bubble was nothing but her doubts, fears and rage. The doctor isn’t a part of her fragile world. She knows, if she says or shows anything wrong, the person will not see the mess and step back. She has nothing to lose here.This is her chance. With a smile, she said, “I don’t want to hide anymore”